Sad, but loved

August 21st, 2010 § 0 comments § permalink

A single rose can be my garden… a single friend, my world.–Leo Buscaglia

Well, I apologize for taking so long to post again; however, I have been busy with my move to Minnesota. I needed some time to think before I wrote this post because the topic upsets me a bit.

Even though I never felt like the state was my home, it was with great sadness that I left Arkansas. I had lived there for almost ten years and it was not so much the state I was leaving, but it was my close friends. In addition to a few family members, they were all I had and I loved them perhaps closer than brothers or sisters. They held me up when I started to fall, showed me the light when it had all but faded from my path, and one even saved my life.

So, when I left Arkansas and UALR, the two places that came the closest to being my “home,” it was painful. I understand that leaving Arkansas and moving to Minnesota so I can attend UMN for my doctorate was necessary for my future. The next four years will help me become the type of scholar I wish to be and while it was more difficult to leave those who befriended me in Arkansas, I cannot always expect my friends to be a short distance from me. This is something that has required a great adjustment in my thinking.

I felt loved when I left the South and I feel loved now by those close to me, by those I had to leave behind. I suppose it is important to remember that I am always in constant contact given the highly mediated nature of our society; however, it is not the same. But, that is fine. Sameness is not always rightness.

As Heraclitus once remarked, “It is in changing that we find purpose.” I try and remember this as I soldier on through this existence, this world that is both foreign and native to me. I have tremendous support, more than I had previously thought, and believe that this is where I belong. I am sad to leave my close friends, but I am cheerful to meet new friends and peers.

My friends know how much they mean to me and that I would do anything for them. I serve my friends because I have little else in this world besides them and my studies. Both are eternal and shape my world into one with meaning.

Minnesoata Dreaming

July 8th, 2010 § 0 comments § permalink

Over this last week, I traveled to Minneapolis, MN to secure an apartment. My father accompanied me and we took a U-Haul trailer filled with my things.  The trip took 13 hours straight through from Little Rock to Minneapolis. We passed through Missouri and Iowa before coming to the Great State of Minnesota.

I tweeted the entire time about things I saw or ideas that popped into my head. I am excited to be moving and starting a new chapter of my life. It’s a big step and cannot wait for the challenges of doctoral school. I love being a student and teaching writing to others. I couldn’t think of anything else I would rather do in this world.

One of my best friends and mentors–Michael Kleine–once told me that he couldn’t believe that he was actually paid to do what he does. He told me he couldn’t imagine what he would have done had he not become a college professor. Michael has had and continues to have a profound impact on my development as a graduate student and scholar.

I will miss him when I move to MN in August.

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